Now, far be it for me to call another man’s bathroom shaving shelf psychotic, but really, what is going on here, I ask you?!

I count seventeen shaving brushes, twenty-five assorted shaving creams, soaps, and assorted poultices, forty-two straight razors, and one bottle of amyl nitrite.

Seventeen shaving brushes. Just saying it leaves me speechless. Seventeen! I mean, forty-two straight razors is some seriously sick business, but seventeen shaving brushes strikes me as far more psychotic. Because seventeen is too few brushes for it be a collection. I know shaving brush collectors. Famous Peter, the guy on the shavegeek forums who’s famous for having something like 500 shaving brushes, buys seventeen brushes on his way to the corner store for some more tulip bulbs.

That means these brushes are in some sort of daily rotation. I’ve seen this sort of thing before. Shavegeeks with a large, embarrasing display case holding way too many brushes, razors, creams, etc., and every morning they stand there in their white Raddison robe thinking, “Hmm, which combo shall it be today? Horn-handled brush with Col. Conk soap and the Dubl Duck razor, Omega boar brush with Proraso cream and the Dovo razor, or Feather straight, Shavemac, and Trumper soap?”

Why can’t guys just hide their embarrasingly large collection of shaving crap in a dresser drawer out of self-loathing shame, like I do? Then, at least, you can tell yourself it’s not really a “collection”, per se, but a junk drawer. With a junk drawer, you can add to the pile indefinitely and never shame your wife when company comes over and uses the bathroom. “Well, that certainly is an…interesting, er, collection your husband has built a custom wooden display case for…(whispering) is he hurting you? Do you want to come away with us, to a safe place where he can’t find you?”

Seeing this photo of seventeen shaving brushes got me thinking about downsizing. I have too many brushes. Not counting the little travel brush I have in my dopp kit, I’ve got five Vulfixes, a Simpson, an Omega, an Edwin-Jagger, and a Merkur. Nine brushes. The Omega almost doesn’t count, being ten dollars and all. So really, eight brushes.

We’ve got two bathrooms where I like keeping a shaving rig — cream, razor, brush, and post-shave poultice. So really, I just need two brushes. That leaves six I should get rid of. I never felt like I needed to get rid of any brushes till I saw this picture, but now I’m scared of what might happen to me if I don’t downsize TODAY.

The little Vulfix #2234 is a keeper, that’s for sure. I’ve been using it for a week now, with the excellent Nancy Boy shaving cream, and it’s become my favorite brush. Big enough to make gobs of lather for 3 or 4 passes with plenty left over, but small enough to go under my nose without getting lather in my mouth. Also, I never make a mess of the sink and bathroom with the #2234 the way I do with larger brushes that fling lather everywhere.

I need to figure out which of the remaining brushes to keep, so I can bundle up the rest and get rid of them. Honestly, that photo is tripping me out. I feel like I’ve got spiders crawling under my skin. I’ve got to make some changes.