Due to popular demand, I’ve restored the full and sacred text of Shaveblog, from the very first post to the one you’re reading now. Blogger seems to be working fine again, knock on woodgrain, so I’m going to see if it’ll stay ship-shape if I leave the full and sacred text on the main page. If it balks at re-publishing the full and sacred text every time I add a new entry like it was for awhile there, I’ll have to go back to just posting the last two weeks of sacred text, and then figure out what went wrong with the Blogger template when I started messing around with it in the first place so that now it won’t archive old posts properly. Anyhoo, for now, the full and sacred text is back online. Enjoy the freedom its truth sets you free to.

Question: why do some guys feel the need to towel themselves off after a shower at the gym by standing at a sink in the bathroom while they watch themselves? Especially as they reach down to dry their junk? I don’t get this at all.

It’s natural and healthy to be ashamed of your body. I myself towel off right at the showers, with a purposefully dull and lifeless expression focused somewhere about a foot in front of me, careful not to look at anyone else. So why, every time I’m standing at a sink and shaving after a workout, does some guy come over and begin toweling off in the next mirror, and I mean he goes to town, especially down there. A guy today actually came over to the next sink over from where I was enjoying a nice shave and began doing (I kid you not) pelvic thrusts as he toweled off.

Am I just too repressed to enjoy the sensation of scratchy, over-bleached towel against fresh-cleaned man-root? I don’t know about you, but my underwear’s 100 percent cotton — it’ll absorb whatever moisture a brief and furtive toweling leaves behind. There’s no need to be so thorough down there, pelvic thrusting or no pelvic thrusting. What is UP WITH THAT?

Is this just a simple monkey dominance cue or am I missing something larger? Maybe it’s an invitation to Fight Club and I’m just not getting the signal. Should I be doing a pevic thrust in the mirror when I dry off at the Y? Where does a man go to get this kind of information?