Love Among The Lipids

Still suffering from the cruel lashings at the hand of that irritating cad Sandalwood, I let myself fall once again into the waiting arms of Taylor Avocado. Moist, slippery Taylor. Always there to salve my wounds, soothe my skin, and pleasure me as only a gentleman’s cream can.

He covered my face and neck with soft, silky lather, his scent an intoxicating mixture of avocado, rosemary, and lavender, his touch hot on my bare skin.

There would be no bodice ripping, though had I been wearing one, I shan’t doubt it would have been dealt with as such, given Taylor Avocado’s reputation as the misunderstood rogue among the Taylors of Old Bond Street. There would only be the shave. A smooth, flawless, moisturizing shave that did wonders for my face which had, only a few days before, seen the back of that cruel blackguard Sandalwood’s hand and still harbored memories of its sting.

And I was reunited once more with my beloved old flame Vulfix Badger, now that my return to Cremo Cream was put off another day or so. Denying myself the pleasures of the brush is, I’m coming to feel, the only reason I may never be able to swear allegiance to the wondrous Cremo.

As heavenly as my shaves with this brushless cream have been, I can’t help but confess to a deep longing for my precious Vulfix, and the tingle of his soft yet firm touch on my face. If dear Vulfix and fair Cremo cannot share sweet embrace with me together, I fear I may come to a crossroads, with the romance of the brush and the science of the lube presenting two divergent paths, only one of which can spell eternal shaving happiness.

But dare I even think such thoughts while Taylor Avocado’s milk-white cream still soaked the matted patch of hair at the base of my Vulfix? For now, I could only think of the romance and pleasure of a brush and a cream meant to be enjoyed forever together.

And with that, I surrendered to Taylor once more, with a final pass under my chin that left naught but bare, lamb-pink skin in its wake.