I used to shave in the shower every day, back in my 20s. I had that same cheesy “fogless” shaving mirror every guy gets at some point — the one you have to attach between your shower head and the water pipe, the thought being that the hot water rushing through the mirror assembly will keep it fog-free, though why that might make a difference I haven’t the foggiest idea. Of course the mirror always fogged up! It’s right there in the steaming hot shower — what do you think’s going to happen? But I bought one anyway and just kept wiping it every time I shaved in the shower.

In those days my shaving rig was pretty pathetic — the ubiquitous blue plastic Gillette “Good News!” disposable razor, and whatever foam or gel inna can I happened to have on hand. I never put that much thought into shaving back then. It hurt with a fresh razor, hurt with a weeks-old razor, hurt with foam, hurt with gel, hurt in the shower and hurt at the sink. It was a chore to suffer through, in order to look semi-presentable. Nicks and cuts abounded, and rare was the bloodless shave.

But the ritual itself — the shaving in the shower, with the nice, hot water hitting your chest, the easy rinsing of the razor just by waving it through the stream of water — was pleasant, and it kept the sink from getting messy with all that crap, so I kept with it.

At some point, though, I finally wised up and ditched the disposables for a more serious razor, Gillette’s double-blade Sensor. So I tossed the crud-encrusted “fogless” mirror and began shaving at the sink like a grownup, and it’s been that way ever since.

Now that I’m shaving old-school and loving it more than I should, my Me Time every morning at the sink has become sacrosanct (look it up here, shavemyface think-tankers). And ever since I stumbled onto the discovery that shaving at the YMCA after a sweaty workout made for a much better shave, I’ve been catching most of my shaves at the sink in the locker room.

Which is all good and well, except I seem to be the only guy doing it. And judging from the stares I keep getting, I’m not sure it’s a welcome development.

It’s not like the sinks are in heavy demand and I’m keeping anyone from getting there facewash time in, but I definitely note a certain chill in the air whenever I’m standing there in a towel with my lather-choked brush and assorted poultici crowded around the sink as I swipe my razor over my face for 10 mins or so. The old-timers seem to approve of my DE and brush, but the younger members don’t seem that down with some guy parked at one of the sinks and shaving himself like Ol’ Pops.

So today I tried a different tack. I shaved in the Y’s shower. I got one of those hanging dop kits from L.L. Bean with the built-in shaving mirror (not fogless), loaded all my crap in it, and tried going back to the shave scenario of my dimly-remembered youth when the beer flowed freely, tests were multiple choice, and you weren’t a real playa unless you were wearing parachute pants with no underwear.

Okay, right off the bat, let me just say that this was a terrible, terrible idea. What was I thinking?! Shaving in the shower is for knuckleheads — the light is terrible, the mirror either fogs up or gets streaked with water, rinsing your razor isn’t as easy as I remembered, and above all, where do you put the brush?

Actually, I anticipated the brush issue and went with the brushless Cremo Cream for my shower shave, used as directed instead of with a brush like I like to use it. It still gives a damn good shave without a brush, so I figured it’d be the perfect shower shave cream. The rest of the rig — Merkur HD safety razor, Trumper’s limes skin food — was my usual combo.

But try as I might, I just couldn’t get down with shaving in the shower. After all these years, I’d forgotten just how dumb this idea really is. I guess it’s not that big of a difference whether you’re scraping your face with a “Good News!” disposable in the shower or at the sink, but shaving with a real razor and cream just doesn’t translate well to the shower. Worst of all, if I thought guys were giving me the stink-eye when I shaved at the locker room sink, that was nothing compared to the looks I got during my shower shave today. I think I could’ve been taking a no-hands wizz against another guy’s leg and I wouldn’t have gotten the dirty looks I did just for shaving in the shower. As my people say, never again.

Amazingly, I got a pretty good shave for all my trouble. It wasn’t the best shave ever, but it was better than it seemed to be when I was in the middle of it, squinting in the water-streaked mirror velcro’d on the front of the L.L. Bean toiletries bag. But screw it, that’s the last shower shave for me if I can help it. Zero pleasure, lots of struggle, and all my gear got soaking wet. Not my brightest idea ever.

But heyy, speaking of “Good News!”, my latest eBay score arrived in the mail today — two vintage Gillette adjustable DEs, a fixed-head Gillette silo-door DE, and….an Eversharp/Schick Injector from the 1940s!

And now for something completely different…